I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
