Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

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(631): View more from New York

So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead

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(858): View more from California

Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.

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(305): View more from Florida

It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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(314): View more from Missouri

No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Maybe for her....

(775): View more from Nevada

Her problem, not mine

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(720): View more from Colorado

I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before

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