White coat. Heels.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
