i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
