my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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