Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize