I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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