I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
