He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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