wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
