mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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