My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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