I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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