Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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