I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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