not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
