we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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