he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize