wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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