I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
