party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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