walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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