So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize