i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize