Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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