That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize