Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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