I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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