I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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