? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
