OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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