Whod you bang
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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