Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
