I think i sorta joined a cult last night
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
