as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
