My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
