I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
