We won't sleep together?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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