Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Betty ford says i'm here all night
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize