"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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