Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
