yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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