am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
