ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize