Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
