why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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