Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
