that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
