im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
