DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
