based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
