guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I need water and some morals
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
