Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
