I'm so fucking centered right now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
