I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
