I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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