Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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