I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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