you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
