Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
