She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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