walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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