please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize