Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize